Tinder Date with Destiny: How one Tinder date changed my life
Hey friends, Chelsea here.
While dating apps like Tinder may often get a bad reputation – I like to think of the app as a channel – which I can choose to keep open – to let new people and thus new ideas and inspiration into my life. With that in mind, I’d like to share my Tinder date with destiny with you – the story of how one Tinder date changed the course of my life. If you like this, then check out more of my articles here.
Single and ready to mingle
At the beginning of 2018, I was newly single, living alone in a city and country where I had no family and hardly any friends to speak of. Although I had been living there for nearly two years, the breakup had given me the sense that I needed to start completely anew. I used Tinder at the time to begin meeting new people.
My Tinder date with destiny
That Valentine’s Day, I had a Tinder date with a guy named Bernie. He was handsome, charming and fit – the type of guy who did hot yoga and crossfit – hello! Needless to say, I was interested.
Moreover, I found that we actually had something to talk about. Our mutual interests in personal development, coaching, conscious leadership, yoga, meditation and social business made for an exciting date. We mused each other on, enthusiastically sharing our stories, experiences, and wisdom.
At some point during the evening, he began to passionately tell me about this thing called Radical Honesty – and something in my whole body just seemed to scream, ‘YES!’ Before I even knew what he was talking about.
He seemed to be a little crazy in just the way I liked – just like me – maybe even a little magical.
Over the course of that night I fell in love with Bernie and the idea of Radical Honesty. He spoke about the workshops he’d been on, and what felt like ‘everyone falling in love with each other’ at the famous 8-day intensive Radical Honesty retreats, which are commonly described as, ‘a year of psychotherapy in eight days‘.
After a night of intense conversation, smiling, blushing, laughing, sharing breakthroughs and stories, we left the cafe-ship on which we were sitting, my whole body buzzing and tingling. I could not kiss him for fear I might explode.
I wished him a good night and quickly walked home, feeling the cold midnight air on my face as my warm heart was beating uncontrollably inside me. I felt as though I just had a date with destiny.
Finding meaning in Radical Honesty
Over the next few months I would come to fall out of love with Bernie and deeper and deeper in love with Radical Honesty.
Side note: after dating briefly, and getting my first introduction to practicing Radical Honesty and ‘completion talks’ via him, Bernie and I now remain good friends. I still love you Bernie! He’s now one of Radical Honesty’s newest Radical Honesty certified trainers; you can read more about him here. Here’s a photo of Bernie and me at a recent 8-Day Intensive retreat in Fehmarn, Germany:
Bernie and me at a Radical Honesty 8 day intensive retreat in Germany. (Psst.. bothered by my body hair?)
Since that fateful date in February, I haven’t been able to get enough of Radical Honesty. It’s resonated so much with me – or rather, I resonate so much with Radical Honesty, that I am convinced it is part of my greater purpose here on this planet during this lifetime!
On becoming a Radical Honesty Trainer Candidate
Two and a half(ish) years later, I’m proud to announce that I am now an official Radical Honesty Trainer Candidate and I want to become a certified trainer within the next few years. I’ve been busy in the past two years:
reading Brad Blanton’s books and learning to practice Radical Honesty in my everyday life
completing unfinished business from my past relationships and remaining present in my current ones
getting better at grounding myself, and distinguishing noticing from imagining
attending many in-person and online Radical Honesty workshops
learning the core principles behind Radical Honesty via the Trainer Fundations Course
completing the Practitioner Program with Honesty Europe
leading weekly Radical Honesty meetup groups in my current city of Linz, Austria
striving to ongoingly notice and report what’s going on with me at any given time, remaining present to myself and others
I’m also looking forward to assisting Honesty Europe at Radical Honesty workshops in Europe in 2021 as a trainee, and finding new ways to contribute to Radical Honesty as an organization.
What Radical Honesty means to me
So, why am I so obsessed? Here are some thoughts I’d like to share with you on what Radical Honesty is to me.
For the first time in my life, I have found something that sticks. Radical Honesty is sticky and has sucked me into it like quicksand. And instead of falling to my death – I feel as though I’ve been sucked into a parallel universe where I am surrounded by a rich, warm, loving presence at all times even as I unfurl into my messiest, weirdest, angriest, loudest, quietest, most beautiful, most strange, unreasonable reasonable self. On this journey I am directly facing my demons – and those of others; the reward being that I come to love myself and them more than I ever could have imagined.
Now, I am committed to bringing about a new way of radically honest relating and being in this world, for the benefit of us all (even though it might get harder/messier at first). I am in love with the way I feel when practicing Radical Honesty and I want to share this feeling with others.
I want to create a space for them to feel their hearts beating, bodies sweating, or just to feel their asses sitting on the chair. To experience and notice their sensations shift, moment by moment.
I want to empower them to feel what it’s like to resent or appreciate someone – while looking into their eyes – while staying present with them and allowing whatever comes up to just be there with ‘100% responsibility, 0% control’.
And if they want to crawl around on the floor like a cat, like I did and am proud of having done at my first Radical Honesty workshop in Linz, I want to give them the room/space/floor to do that!
Radical Honesty family: Linz and beyond
By the way, we had that workshop together in Linz, about one year after our date. Bernie’s dreams of bringing Radical Honesty to Linz began to manifest at the workshop he held together with Jakob. They led me and a bunch of other lovely people through a weekend full of magical, honest sharing and connecting! And I’m proud to say I’ll be assisting at the next Radical Honesty Weekend Workshop Linz, January 2021 with Honesty Europe!
After the first Linz workshop (and another one in the fall of 2019) we all stayed in touch and formed our Linz practice group. We’ve been meeting up regularly for almost two years now (every week with few exceptions)! And in the process of sharing our deepest desires, fears, and everything else with each other, we’ve become a sort of family. It’s funny how there’s this magic and love created when we express ourselves in our most vulnerable, exposed, and honest state.
The best part: we share our shit out loud (resentments, petty judgements, appreciations, fantasies, stories, you name it) and we get over it. We move on, take care of ourselves, connect with others, and laugh at ourselves in the process of taking ourselves too seriously sometimes. We create our lives together, one honest moment at a time.
Do you want to experience Radical Honesty at an upcoming event near you? Then check out the worldwide events calendar!
-Chelsea Workman
Being Honest with Chelsea
Chelsea Workman is a Radical Honesty Trainer Candidate, and writer, intimacy, relationship and wellbeing enthusiast, living in Linz, Austria.
Upcoming Workshops co-led by Chelsea: